December update

OK, I've not been blogging for an incredibly long time so now I will. For the past 3 weeks I've been searching for part-time jobs in all the usual places, but I ended up with the job of selling donation tickets in Tampines! I felt freaked out on the first day when people start 're-living the Scouts spirit' with cheering (my employer was a Scout and he probably misses his old days to pass it on to his company; no offense to Scouts though), and OMG I was reminded of MY old days not only in Scouts but in school camps as well (some of them horrid). I didn't manage to sell ANYTHING; my colleagues couldn't believe me and one accused me of slacking. I quit on the same day. Back to job search.

Went to Kuala Lumpur and Melaka in the past 3 weeks. So I did not get to stay for 1-2 weeks in Shui Yee's house after all (I totally expected it and initially wasn't happy, but my parents relented to let me stay for at least 1 night). Thursday night, we stayed at Boulevard Hotel (again). This time our room is on a higher floor. The view of Menara and KLCC was so beautiful! And I slept with all the lights off because I wanted to sleep with the 'awe-inspiring' city lights. On Saturday, I worked at their coffeeshop doing basic stuff with Shui Yee, Chee How, their sister (forgot her actual name again! But we call her Meimei), and their cousin Meosen. I considered it good working experience, but my parents insist it's not even beginner level, as my 'employers' are my relatives who naturally wouldn't want to upset me. The previous night, they brought us to this very pleasant garden-themed restaurant in 1 Utama, and because I was so 'inspired', I bought the green-coloured Watercress Soup, which looked and tasted yucky at first, but soon I got over it and enjoyed it. After the dinner, I went to the arcade located above the mall, but after playing a few games I was overcome with the feeling of missing Auntie Russel and Siravit again. After all Siravit was about to leave the next day. On the morning of the last day I was annoyed that not only I couldn't stay longer, but I had to leave early! I resented for a while but felt neutral after that. 'Cos I've got my desire to see Kuala Lumpur covered, after so long. The trip to Melaka (11-13 Dec) was organised by my father's company, so we sat on the bus with all other employees and their families. We walked to the Melaka River area on the 2nd day, but the rest was all mall-hopping, and we ate Peranakan food in our buffet dinner night at Holiday Inn.

I was pissed off when I posted on STOMP talkback my suggestions of polytechnic being a better route for those wanting to go to the USA to study, that those people start attacking my post with insults, sarcasm and discouragement, thinking that I wanted to go to the Ivy League from Polytechnic even though I might not even qualify for the National University of Singapore. I was not only furious about thier misunderstanding of my post, my intentions of writing the post, my tone in the post and the admissions systems (plus changing trends), but also these doom-monger(s) (people who only know how to say "Aiyoh, you cannot make it one lah") are so moronic that you'd feel like punching him. I never knew that these group of people exist in Singapore (again, must be those Ugly Singaporeans who are so enthusiastic in things like National Service, politics, being Singaporean & patriotic, being snobbish with intelligence, who downplays everyone else who has different attitudes than they themselves). Some of their posts really hurt, and it kept bothering me and my self-esteem when I was in Melaka. In another thread though, someone replied that, "It's the people who will create your experience, not the place" when arguing that I cannot always be sure that USA is the best place for my university education. He's right about that statement. The group of people in Singapore (the one I described above) plus the constant inner feeling of loneliness is chasing me out of Singapore in the first place. USA is one of the major chances I'm taking to turn this around. So I thought it over, aside from Junior College and Polytechnic next year, one of the routes I can take is the Center of American Education-Broward College route (as described in my previous blog, doing the university core curriculum in Singapore when I do National Service, and transfer my credits over when I'm ready).

However, this route is still uncertain as it's off the beaten path (though a more assuring one due to accreditation, licensure and endorsement). Going on this shortcut means the only certificate I have to present to the university after National Service is the O Levels, and there's uncertainty whether I'd do well or not. Plus how am I going to fill in the extra-curricular section of the Common Application form? Since I wouldn't get my chance to improve my extra-curricular performance as I won't be going to either JC or Poly, the only thing I can fill in is my miserable CCA results from secondary school. How am I going to get into the more prestigious ones like that? The CAE claims one (or more) of its students made it to Columbia University (my dream college) after the program, but what is this student(s) like in his/her/their transcripts? Furthermore, I've only 2 years to save up (but to pay for only 2+ years of undergraduate college, as compared to the traditional 4 years), and as for the National Service requirement? I'm not ready. But this is the path of more guaranteed hope. This is the fastest way to the USA. The 60 credits I do in Singapore can save up to 2 years worth of college fees (hundreds of thousands of dollars). I have 2 years more to consider whether Architecture is really right for me (and if not, I have more majors to choose from once in USA, as compared to the courses in Poly, although JC gives you 4 years), and people there all have the same vision and goal, to get into an American college, meaning there's a higher chance of me fitting in there than in JC/Poly. Furthermore, I'm highly likely to join the Police Force in National Service, which I really want, and the only thing I'd look forward to in National Service (plus self-defense skills are useful in preventing being victimised from crime in the USA). Anyway I don't mind moving on to places like the University of Oregon, or North Carolina State University, as long as I fit in there and it fits in most of my needs & wants (because I only need the degree to be recognised by a good American graduate school; that's where prestige becomes more important).

There's another route though. I could go to National Service first, then enrol into an American high school (most likely, Sasha's and Misha's high school, Lawrence North in Indianapolis) for 1-2 years, before heading off to college. Even higher chances into American colleges like that, with a hand at American curriculum and extra-curriculars. But the problem is my O Levels essentially allows me to be accepted into college already (they'll ask, 'for what?'), and costs will be even higher (imagine 2+4 years of paying exorbitant prices). So this route is still under 'investigation'.

Plans for this week onwards? Gathering with Benjamin, Kian Leong and Randal with full of content to chit-chat about,and next Tuesday is my flight to Beijing (Singapore Airlines and cold climate once again!). I've always wanted to go to Beijing because I was impressed with its pre-Olympic development, but only now when interest is gradually fading then this trip was announced. LOL. The 2 weeks when O Level results are released will be the busy week of not only collecting results, but visiting schools during open houses and 'serious route consideration'. Then I will start planning my next few months again. Where I go (JC, Poly, NS+CAE, or NS+AHS) is uncertain; it depends on my results and my soul searching. The song below is a rather optimistic Japanese song, called Kanashimi Ni Makenaide/悲しみに負けないで by Mikuni Shimokawa:


Lyrics:
一人きり泣きそうになる　
夜なんで幾つもある
終わりのない旅の途中
誰だって夢見ている

いつも何かを信じて
そして何かを失って
君を抱きしめた
流した涙の数は
優しさに変わって行く　　
きっと

悲しみに負けないで
まっすぐに明日を見ていて
一人じゃない　誰もみんな
叶える願がある

明日の風はきっと
優しい香りをつれて来る
約束だよ　どんな時も
きっと君の側にいる

言葉では言えないほど
募ってく思いがある
木枯らしに抱かれる夜は　
切なさも強さにして

出会いはいつも突然
響く鐘の音のように
やって来る

君が手にした全てが
明日へ繋がればいい　
だから

悲しみにさようなら
瞳閉じてそして笑って
忘れられない　思い出たち
少しずつ抱きしめて

たとえ遠く離れても
いつも君だけに祈るから
君が歩く道の上に
花が咲きますように

星空を見上げながら
見果てぬ夢追い掛けて
いつか風になる
もっと自由に

悲しみに負けないで
まっすぐに明日を見ていて
一人じゃない　誰もみんな
叶える願がある

逢いたいと思うから
いつでも声が聞きたいから
過ぎ去って行く季節に今
ありがとうと言えるよ

Romanji:
Hitorikiri nakisou ni naru
Yoru nante ikutsu mo aru
Owari no nai tabi no tochuu
Dare datte yume miteiru

Itsumo nanika wo shinjite
Soshite nanika wo ushinatte
Kimi wo dakishimeta
Nagashita namida no kazu wa
Yasashisa ni kawatte yuku
Kitto

Kanashimi ni makenaide
Massugu ni ashita wo miteite
Hitori ja nai dare mo minna
Kanaeru negai ga aru

Ashita no kaze wa kitto
Yasashii kaori wo tsurete kuru
Yakusoku da yo donna toki mo
Kitto kimi no soba ni iru

Kotoba de wa ienai hodo
Tsumotteku omoi ga aru
Kogarashi ni dakareru yoru wa
Setsunasa mo tsuyosa ni shite

Deai wa itsumo totsuzen
Hibiku kane no ne no you ni
Yatte kuru

Kimi ga te ni shita subete ga
Ashita e tsunagareba ii
Dakara

Kanashimi ni sayounara
Hitomi tojite soshite waratte
Wasurerarenai omoide-tachi
Sukoshi zutsu dakishimete

Tatoe tooku hanarete mo
Itsumo kimi dake ni inoru kara
Kimi ga aruku michi no ue ni
Hana ga sakimasu you ni

Hoshizora wo miagenagara
Mihatenu yume oikakete
Itsuka kaze ni naru
Motto jiyuu ni

Kanashimi ni makenaide
Massugu ni ashita wo miteite
Hitori ja nai daremo minna
Kanaeru negai ga aru

Aitai to omou kara
Itsudemo koe ga kikitai kara
Sugisatte yuku kisetsu ni ima
Arigatou to ieru yo

Translation:
There are many nights when i feel like crying alone
On this endless journey, everyone is dreaming

Having faith in something, then losing something in return
I embraced you
But my tears will soon turn into gentleness
Surely

Dont lose to sorrow, look towards the tomorrow straight ahead
You're not alone, everyone has dreams to make true
Tomorrow's wind will surely bring along a gentle scent
I promise that i will always be by your side

There are so many things i want to tell you
When I am blown by cold wind i will turn sadness into strength

We always meet so suddenly, like an echo of a bell
It'd be great if everything you grabbed in your hand is connected to tomorrow
That's why

Say good-bye to sorrow, close your eyes and laugh
Embrace the unforgettable wishes little by little
Even if we are separated far away, I will always pray for you
That flowers will bloom on the road you walk on

Looking up at the starry sky, I'll chase the never-ending dream
Then someday I will become the wind, and become more free...

Dont lose to sorrow, look towards the tomorrow straight ahead
You're not alone, everyone has dreams to make true
Tomorrow's wind will surely bring along a gentle scent
I promise that i will always be by your side

Because I want to stay by your side, listen to your voice whenever i want
I can say thank you to the seasons that pass by