This morning, I dragged myself heavily out of bed as usual, but for the last time ever coming out of my room, wearing the brown uniform, to face a supposedly normal school day. But it's not just any normal school day. It's officially the last day ever in Peicai Secondary School. And that is also our last look at our classroom, which we considered earlier as dingy as the rest of the 40 year-old building. Class was in somber mood today, as we all know that was the last time in our whole lives that we are going to sit in that classroom as 4F. Emotions ran high when the 'foreigners' were asked to discuss their future plans (which, sadly, Siravit, Wen Jun and maybe some others are returning home or leaving for another country for university education and for good), when Mdm Yusma delivered her somber speech both in class and during the graduation ceremony, when I recieved my report card and comparing with others, realizing how tough it's going to be to reach my L1R5 goal, when the slide show gave us heartwarming goodbye messages from teachers, when my class refused to leave the class and school early to take more group photos, and when my class can't help but made a stopover at a dessert cafe in Serangoon Gardens. Looking back, I'd realized they are/were the best classmates I ever had, despite all their conservative treatment towards me (and that is simply no point talking about now). Though I am not a best friend of any of them, nor am I sometimes included in their cliques, they still as a whole are better friends than my previous classmates (whether too cautiously or not I don't really know). We share memories in each other's invitations to gatherings/class outings/birthday (or rather, my birthday, because I'm not informed of anybody else's birthday), each other's jokes and fun, and everything else that makes our secondary school experience unique. Sure, many times I wasn't included as part of this fun, many times I felt outcast-ed, many times I even felt hostility, and most of the time I felt that the class was faking their behavior on me because of their flawed impressions of me from a troubled me in 2008 and some occasions in 2009 (yet I do not know how to prove my worth as part of this class), but we share one thing common today: these 2 years felt like an illusion that...is all gone now. But hopefully, we'll meet again later in life (especially Siravit), and one day probably in a decade's time I'll invite my now-former classmates to find me in the USA and/or Canada (as a few individuals or as a group gathering), and I'll treat them to a great time there (also realise why North America is still as beautiful as ever, and why I choose to relocate there)
So now we have 'O' Levels to face in 3 weeks. I'm going to work literally my ass off in these final days of chances, according to my Rescue Plan. I'm not going to let the setback in Prelims from shattering my dreams into pieces that their sharp edges hurt. Tomorrow's 4F meeting will mostly depend on whether they want me to come along, otherwise, I won't think of them until Dinner & Dance/Prom night on 14th November. And I will definitely look forward to my (about) 2 weeks in Kuala Lumpur (considered as my 2nd home in case you still don't know) with my cousins, some mental rest. and everything else in my Post O Level Activity List. But I will also dread Auntie Russel's permanent departure on 24th October; too many people leaving, I can't stand it.
Here's a song dedicated to the atmosphere of our class' separation (translations included in video):
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