On Saturday, I invited 8 classmates (Don, Joel, Yi Liang, Alvin, Si Wei, Zhao Yan, Gabriel, and Kai Yuan) to my chalet at NSRCC for a barbeque (BBQ) and a good time with the club's facilities. Bicycles closed shop just after their arrival...how disappointing. The food tasted better than the previous day's BBQ! I wonder who are the experts here...Later, we went play pool. There, I finally learnt how the game is played! Asked for mahjong set for them, but again, disappointment as they closed a few minutes after we started to ask for it. Then 5 of them wanted to stay but due to overcrowding they changed their mind. It was a simple event but I liked it a lot. And about 10 years later, I hope to invite them to USA/Canada for the same kind of gathering. Or more likely, an adventure of their lifetime.
OK, now I want to declare that these words/phrases will be taboo to me: army, National Service/NS, attitude, behave, haven't grow up, haven't mature, selfish, self-centered, you think life in USA/Canada is better than Singapore's? and all other related words and phrases. These words/phrases change my mood and stir up feelings. Please do NOT mention them in your next conversation with me, I had enough of them. They only make me miserable, no matter what or how you try to knock some sense into me when I become paranoid. And all the more I want to move out to Canada and prove to you that I can live a better life there without going through all the trouble Singapore has for me.
I just found out from my American (-Chinese) cousin that she almost never experienced racism all her life (except for 1 incident, but that's because it's in a remote area)! So what have my other cousins been telling me? Racial tensions among the Asians and American whites in Queens (New York City)? Those with mild mental disorders has 0% chance of getting into American universities? Still insist it's still a huge problem today in USA? NONSENSE!!! Why are they doing this to me? All they have been telling me are only the disadvantages of moving to North America, not weighing both pros and cons to measure the worthiness of moving to North America. You know, it's like just because they want to stay in Singapore for life, then they'll want me to do/think the same. And just because they may have experienced it negatively it doesn't mean I will. They still can tell me the pros of National Service. Are they really doing reality check with a neutral point of view or are they just pro-Singapore? Well, NO MORE NONSENSE. I'm going to study in a large city in USA or Canada and after graduating, live and work in Toronto for the rest of my life. Don't even think of asking me to return to do re-service. That's a NO-NO and NO WAY. It won't even make it to the last place of 'Things-To-Do-Before-I-Die' list. I want to leave every horrible Singaporean thing behind and find a new life of my own. But I will miss some of the people here, including my current set of classmates, so on my last moment before the Departure area of Singapore Changi Airport, I will turn back my head for 1 last time to look at the people sending me off and this song will ring in my mind (which is also the theme song for The Ultimatum):
Lyrics:
是谁从我天空摘走了星星
一转眼 眉头聚满乌云
从来快乐悲伤都自己横行
忘了我也值得被关心
一双手一个梦一路上不断的俯冲
痛到忘了要怎么喊痛
漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过
我的世界是零下的沙漠
其实我也想要拥抱的温柔
融化这颗坚强的泡沫
漫长的等候让人特别失落
锋锐寂寞把天空都割破
还有谁能够紧握着我的手
陪着我期待消失的彩虹
是谁将阳光都剪成了雨滴
天灰了，快乐总有限期
从来都陷在孤独的流沙里
忘了我也配被人在意
一个人一直走看着梦像做了又空
精疲力尽有没有哪里可以停泊
漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过
我的世界是零下的沙漠
其实我也想有拥抱的温柔
融化这颗坚强的泡沫
漫长的等候让人特别失落
锋锐寂寞把天空都割破
还有谁能够紧握着我的手
陪着我期待消失的彩虹
那是谁的温柔留在我的小手
微不足道却那么重
漫长的寂寞把意志都吞没
整个世界是沉默的漩涡
有谁能陪我手牵着手出走
带我离开空洞的星球
还有什么值得追求
还有什么可以拥有
把怀抱借给我是不是就不再颤抖
有谁能带走这美丽的哀愁
能让我相信被爱的理由
Translation:
Who won the stars away from my sky?
Dark clouds came in an twinkling of an eye
Sadness is never happily running on its own
I'm also forgotten to deserve to be concerned about
Hence a dream
Continuous subduction along the way
So painful until I've forgotten how to scream in pain
The prolonged loneliness drowned my sorrow
My world is worse than a desert
In fact, I also want to embrace the gentle
Melting of this solid foam
Waiting for a long lost person in particular
Edge loneliness can hurt the sky
Who can hold my hand
Whom I can look forward to accompany me to wait for the rainbow to disappear
Who changed the sun into rain?
A gray day, there will always be a happy period
I have always been stuck in the quicksand of loneliness
I'm forgotten to be accompanied
People have been taking a look at another dream, which feels so empty
Where can I have parking for my exhausted self
The prolonged loneliness drowned my sorrow
My world is worse than a desert
In fact, I also want to embrace the gentle
Melting of this solid foam
Waiting for a long lost person in particular
Edge loneliness can hurt the sky
Who can hold my hand
Whom I can look forward to accompany me to wait for the rainbow to disappear
Whose warmth was it that stayed in my little hands
It is so insignificant
The prolonged lonliness have swallowed my willpower
The whole world is silent whirlpool
Who can accompany me to leave hand in hand
leave this empty planet
What else is there to chase after?
What else is there to have/use?
Let me embrace, is it no longer trembling?
Who can take away this beautiful sadness
To let me believe the reasons for being loved
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